Dissecting King Midas: The Miser Archetype

The cautionary tale of King Midas in ancient Greek Mythology and the redemption of Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens’s Christmas Carol may have a good thousand years between them, but they both exemplify Oscar Wilde’s famous definition that a cynic is someone who “knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

The fate of Midas was to have his dearest wish for gold granted, only to recognize too late a plethora of double-binds; an example of one is that love cannot be bought or acquired the way of gold, that it can be eroded by inattentiveness to another’s intangible needs (in relationships, emotional fulfilment of not just yourself, but those around you).

This blind spot now leaves Midas alone in a vault of riches, perhaps for the first time noticing how stale the air is in this heaving place. Rage and bitterness are two of the most fierce and multi-layered emotions that can come up for closer inspection and integration.

The Energy of Intention

The ultimate old-world wisdom the tale imparts is that you earn what you sow, or that you create the very thing the energy of your joy and inspiration is placed upon. Nothing more, nothing less, a harsh kind of reciprocity in this case.

So, how did this become his fate? Is there a way through so his destiny may be different from the past? These questions highlight intention.

To dissect the symbolism of Midas’s gold, I will continue to refer to masculine energy for easy reference. The Midas/Miser archetype expresses through the feminine too, but the healing path I discuss with reference to Carl Jung’s concepts of Anima/Animus are different, and that’s a conversation for another time. This is a quick run-through of an extensive topic!

The Fundamental Enigma of Value: Gratification Vs Nourishment

Midas/Miser hangs on to objects, lifestyles, money, objectified spouses (or exes), and networks that ‘elevate’ their image, for dear life.

They get fused with mindsets based on belief systems, and they likely have little clarity of the origin of these. Sometimes a specific angle of perception took root because of past experiences. At others they are inherited by parents or from the culture around them. The result is; wear a mask often enough and it becomes the face.

The fundamental enigma worked through when Midas/Miser archetype expresses is: what underlying value system do you base everyday decisions upon? After all, a life is constructed choice by choice, when sufficient time has passed and you look back on the pattern of outcomes, how can you understand your life, your pain and moments of joy, failures and victories? What was/is your gold? And most importantly, your gold is not static, it evolves with time and age, so another question to ask is, are you stuck in an old life story, an outdated version of gold? Or another is, is my gold constructed by an amalgam of other people’s gold, or what I believe they desire, therefore which makes me more valuable and desired?

Much of this line of enquiry has to do with understanding the subtle differences between gratification and nourishment.

The nuance homed in on here is when gratification is associated with a hunger (therefore an absence or lack, often connected to early trauma or conditioning, perhaps reinforced by repetitive ‘failures’, then identifying with these failures as the condition of the Self).

Nourishment implies a filling up of a container that is whole and receptive but not empty. There is no hunger or an insatiable pull of desire. It is also an ability to tap into a self-replenishing source of contentment that’s not reliant on external conditions.

There’s no good or bad, a life of external gratification and accumulation is also a choice, many people live within its corral their entire lives (see Eve « Helen stages of Anima development I discuss below), but if one also wishes for a wider experience; a more nuanced emotional life (deeper quality of reciprocity in love or family relationships for example), soul or spiritual nourishment (the need for meaning, to feel connected to something greater than the individual ego, the need to leave a legacy beyond financial bequeathment etc.), one must begin uncovering the layers of personal history and narratives to get towards a different truth (Mary ®Sophia below).

Blocks to Psychological Maturity

One of the sticking points (a belief system) that keeps a person aligned to gratification, accumulation, a world of literalness, is a distaste of religiosity; the nomenclature of ‘soul’, ‘spirit’ etc is reduced to formal religion on one hand and woo-woo spiritualism on the other.

Another is the profound fear of the ‘numinous’ (intangible realms) and the threat of ego death. They have come to understand that self-actualization is to become so self-sufficient, that is, to not need anyone. They set up systems to provide for themselves all basic needs as in Maslow’s Hierarchy. But they end up static in fulfilling the personal Esteem Needs stage of the pyramid. They are static because this is what they endlessly replenish in the belief that it is the path to personal freedom. With time this stage can become not a means to an end but the destination itself, formlessly fused with Self-Actualization. The real danger of lurking here too long is that it becomes a closed loop. From a desire to provide for one’s own basic needs, the entire way of existing can tip over into materialism, selfishness, then, narcissism. Furthermore, boundaries with others became barricades, the heart is held safe in an impenetrable fortress. The irony is what does not grow ossifies; it may be gold but the world within is frigid and afraid of the heart’s callings.

  Since Midas inherently fears what he cannot see, touch or understand, he is profoundly afraid of losing himself in the amorphous mass of ‘otherness’ of the numinous (what can’t be explained away). He believes he must remain separate (within his personal ego) to be free. It’s like swimming always within grasping distance of the handrail of the pool. There is no real personal empowerment or freedom there. No jumping off into the depths with a real personal conviction of the ability to thrive in any situation. That’s space-energy exploration, and not for the faint-hearted.

Individuation

Because life is full of contradictory truths, Carl Jung’s concept of Individuation provides a profoundly liberating framework of understanding for self-development. In realizing the total Self which is a composite of the tangible and intangible realms of individual self and other (collective and numinous), it provides an added dimension to Maslow’s self-concept. There’s no danger of a closed-loop system here, and living through the Individuation process, one is able to connect to a vaster system of inner freedom that’s both separate and whole, that is inter-dependence than co-dependence, that is self-sufficient but capable of the deepest of intimacy with self (therefore with others).

In the following sections, I go on to show how what works in the material/ tangible world doesn’t apply the same in the subtler realm of nourishment; it has an entirely different law of physics. Thus we are even stepping beyond the notion of a value system.

The Element Midas Lives Within

I imagine strategic and powerful King Midas to be quite befuddled at this stage. He’s been yanked out of Gratification and dunked in the absence of Nourishment.

It’s beyond a rude awakening. He’s had to notice the element he’s lived within first, to begin grasping the enormity of his past choices. It’s a little like how a fish doesn’t know it lives in water. A fish’s brain filters it out, to leave other processes undistorted.

We can’t see air either, we only see it through the effects it has on other things; wind in a tree, ruffling skin of water. For the most part, we don’t notice the breath that’s keeping us alive let alone the element that helps us thrive, when we live in literalness and proofs.

The element Midas lived in may appear to confirm his stature and mastery over himself and his life, yet he fails to recognize how a good thing can become toxic with too much of it or by giving it the wrong focus or importance. Here are three such characteristics with a dual aspect (Janus face):

• Glamour: Like a magician’s trick Midas conjures an aura around him. He is self-sufficient, he chooses to surround himself with luxury items or rare artefacts or what is trendy, he has ‘arm candy’ relationships that belie his age and proves his virility to the world, he moves in high circles, goes on exotic holidays. Midas/Miser may not be as affluent as he appears to be. And even if he does have a healthy bank balance, it may never be enough, he still needs more to feel safe. Overall, the instinct is to project an aura of setting himself apart from the masses. The irony is there may be a pretty simple man within, just that his choices are justified by other people’s standards, so he is impelled to go over beyond his true personal preference for what makes him feel innately good or comfortable or nurtured. Or it could result from severe self-judgement, for example, arm candy relationships that are a human crutch to compensate for an inner lack or perceived ‘failure’. In fact, he’s possibly made choices based on this aura long enough that he believes that is what serves his true self. But creating auras is problematic because the very intention is to misdirect, to shift the perception of those around him to appear more desirable than what they truly feel about themselves. It creates a push-pull dynamic in drawing moths to a false flame, people with ulterior motives, or business associates who are difficult to be trusted. Falsity resides on both sides of the fence. They all feed off and live in each other’s projections! Very few things are ‘safe’ or ‘grounded’ in this world of smoke and mirrors. The rug may be pulled out from anyone’s feet at any moment. Trust is not a good option. Distrust has become a self-fulfilling prophecy. That’s why sustaining relationships that go the distance is an impossibility. The necessary conditions of truth and integrity simply do not exist.

• Element of the Mind: Midas/Miser is entirely identified with their mind, a living example of Descartes’ “I think therefore I am”. His existence is heavily weighted towards being one-dimensional and doesn’t realize that when the brain is his only tool, he restricts himself and his human experience by staying blinkered to other perceptions, especially feeling He is a brilliant strategist, that’s why he is what he is. He may be phenomenally intuitive which is a synthesis of the mind and heart, but he does not recognize the heart or any other ‘numinous’ gifts; as with most of his other ways of navigating life, he attributes intuition to his mind/gut based ‘reasoning’ skills. He intensely distrusts the intangible. Like gold the substance, his mindset and personality are rigid and immovable. He cannot evolve because his inner and outer worlds are so precariously balanced on external conditions being a certain way. His mind confirms this as thoughts follow the same track round and round. He can be debilitatingly indecisive, or decisive in a way that his strike is impulsive/impatient and therefore fails to gain the result he is after because he’s missed a significant factor (because he is blinkered) in the dynamic.

• Profound fear of the Numinous: He lives within a controlled environment of himself, constructed by deduction and reasoning. He trusts only what he can see and touch and shapes his reality by accumulating these within his world. He doesn’t really see that trusting only himself, or one aspect of himself, is limiting him to all the information available to him in his human existence. He is in fact building a castle on quicksand because his certainties could simply be wrong, created out of a system of negative beliefs. Thus, he is a control freak and needs endless assurance, he needs to know the outcome before he takes any significant decision. Trust and faith are for fools. Anything vaguely resembling the unseen let alone mystical is profoundly fear-inducing because the individual ego has no control there. This protective/defensive stance signifies a deep absence of self-trust. I’ll go more into this later. This is the realm where life is not just understood and conceptualized but experienced, words do not contain the signifiers to convey this. It must be experienced to be known.

Thief Archetype

The healing path for Midas is the Thief Archetype; to discover for himself the wealth that can never be stolen. He must enter a realm of intangible things, a ghostly, foggy and unfamiliar world in which only the heart can navigate. And sometimes it is a greater ‘knowing’ whose source cannot be reduced to anything other than a mystery, the mystery of human consciousness, within a vaster context.

A conceptual framework that will shift the Midas/Miser’s psychological deadlock comes from Depth Psychology; one personification of our ‘inner figures’ identified by Carl Jung is the Anima, or the inner figure of the feminine within a male psyche.

These archetypes can be used as a guide or way markers, and Jung speaks of the 4 stages of Anima development. It’s useful to keep in mind the idea of libido or life force (not singularly ‘sexual’ expression, though I have focused only on that aspect here) when engaging with these personifications:

1. Eve: With the connotation of ‘temptation’, Eve represents instinctual, biological relations. Impulsivity lives here. Midas may be quick risk averse in his life yet gives in to sudden impulses. He finds it difficult to distinguish between impulsivity and spontaneity (inspired action- where the spur is the true Self, not the Ego).
2. Helen: Think of the physical beauty of Helen of Troy that had men wage wars (the ego boost to claim or ‘own’ such a woman) or Faust’s Helen. Also containing a strong sexual/ biological/ instinctual element, there’s the added draw of the romance of the highly ‘prized’ by many, the implied grace of the visual aesthetic. Here Midas may take time to ponder over decisions (somewhat aware of his impulsivity), yet the choice he makes is not based on inner individual truth.
3. Mary: The Thief Archetype is Mary’s realm; treasures that can never be stolen. These originate from love. Mary’s grace is entirely subdued and arrives through non-logical expansive evaluation and a skill of making increasingly subtler discernments (that at first glance may seem counter-intuitive) within broader categories of ‘love’ such as those received from the ancient Greeks, from Agápe to Éros. One might ask what is unconditional love? In popular parlance, ‘unconditional’ is mistaken for anything goes. Make no mistake, Mary is no doormat. She is highly boundaried in a healthy way. She requires reciprocity but her love is not ‘transactional’ as with Eve or Helen. Mary will pose a severe trigger to Midas who is used to the Eves and Helens of the world and will distrust her. An illustration of the adage that what we don’t understand, we distrust. Even if his heart is stirred by her, his powerful instinct is to shut it all down and retreat into the castle, pull up the drawbridge, and toss a crocodile or two into the moat for good measure. Mary quite likely may linger a while, mourn the loss but head off on her own once she recognizes the futility of her affections. This is often the real bottleneck for Midas’s Anima development, the free-will dependent, fate vs destiny point. The gift of Mary’s mirror to Midas is for him to recognize the hitherto unhealed shadow within. Often these could be deeper layers of anger (all the injustices and rejections Midas has endured), jealousy and envy (desiring status and other things to compensate and self-soothe. Adding salt to a raw wound is that if Midas has a roving-eye, or a tendency to get bored and restless in committed relationships, so might Eve or Helen. He’s met his match in unhealthy aspects (which can result in endless cycles of out-witting each other, FOMO or put-downs to gain power). Yet he’s also met his match in Mary, here’s a call to emotionally mature to evolve into finally giving himself the possibilities of success in relationships. But Mary’s energy is very easily camouflaged among the out-radiating glamour and conquests of Helen or the raw sexuality of Eve and Midas may not even recognize the invitation for Individuation and true energetic sovereignty the relationship offers.
4. Sophia: Where knowledge has been alchemized into the purest form of wisdom and is utilized in the service and honouring of Self and others. Marie Louis Von Franz gives the example of Shulamite in the Song of Solomon and believes it’s a stage of psychic development rarely achieved in modern times.

Thus, as it often happens, Midas has little clarity on his security and nurturing needs. They are so intertwined that one is easily mistaken for the other. That’s why looking at the Anima figure‘s state of development can become pivotal in healing Midas/Miser.

Furthermore, as we’ve seen, these archetypes of the inner feminine often plot the path of literal romantic relationships in a man’s life. Eves and Helens can be like revolving doors (reinforcing a pattern) in his life that produces a double-bind in all areas of life. He finds himself indisputably incompatible with Mary (though he may secretly envy those around him who have found deep soul connections). She however holds the key to his inner freedom. More later…

To use a grossly reductive counterpoint Head vs Heart, to an interrelationship that’s very much nuanced, to heal, the logical mind-led Midas must consider with sincerity the “vague feelings and moods, prophetic hunches, receptiveness to the irrational, capacity for personal love, feeling for nature… and his relation to the unconscious” (Marie Louis Von Franz).

When the feminine expresses in its destructive form and it’s ignored and repressed, Midas will be a perfectionist, he will be a dab hand at self-flagellation for any mistakes or bad choices he makes, thus be consumed by resentment and rage towards those who have wronged or left him. As with anything, these energies accumulate, and with each ‘betrayal’ he becomes more and more cynical and withdrawn from true intimacy. He considers any vulnerability within him a weakness and clamps down even harder on himself. With time he gets completely disconnected from his feeling-nature and wonders why there’s a deadening in his vitality. Although he is terribly risk-averse, he is impulsive. He may attempt to resurrect his inner vitality through expressing sexual energies (coping mechanism) but ultimately, they leave him depleted even more.

Trust and Projection

Midas’ dunking into a completely different element by having his beloved daughter turned into a lifeless object, brings to light that he is a pretty cosy bedfellow with the cynic. He is a very suspicious chap, yet, as we have seen, unconsciously aligns himself with people and situations that confirm his suspicions. And then there’s confirmation bias. Oh, what a tangled web he weaves for himself!

It has all to do with trust; if one is unable to trust themselves, it’s impossible to trust another. The other side of the coin is that if one fears what’s lurking in the shadows of one’s own psyche, and refuses to find the courage to go look at the shadow dead in the eye (not once, or twice, but again and again, unrelentingly, because his is a very deep well, and it is not a comfortable process), he will project it onto others. It’s especially poignant when projected onto those who they love or potential Mary figures who can introduce deep nourishment to his life. So this symbol of the lifeless gold object-daughter; is it outside Midas or does it reflect the true condition of what his own heart has become, locked in a castle safe from harm, yet in a frigid and frozen world?

Dissecting Midas:

1. The Midas Mindset: Chicken or Egg, which came First?

Midas has a core Abandonment wound likely from childhood and reinforced often in adult life. His acquisitiveness is characterized by a compensatory fear-based scarcity mindset and is reinforced by family patterns (for example, a weak/insecure Father archetype, overcompensated by an overly ambitious mother figure).

Drawing on the Mary Archetype, emotional generosity towards himself and others is an actionable step for him.

Why actioning may not be as simple as it sounds is that by definition, a cynic is distrustful. He believes other people are not sincere and are motivated by self-interest. He can’t fathom notions of unselfishness (Mary) or that others may act out of a necessity to maintain honour rather than a material benefit. What we project onto others is of course stuff that is within ourselves; they are merely mirrors in which we can see ourselves.

Another reason is, Midas may never have experienced positive mirroring or encountered role models. Therefore Mary-mindset is completely alien to him.

One might say this is a chicken and egg situation too: what came first? How can one become what one never has had a conception of?

So, the only way forward is to identify and heal the core Abandonment wound and scarcity mindset, by recognizing and valuing non-material abundance.

2. Midas Core Wound and Becoming Conscious

One way to follow the breadcrumbs that will lead to the origin of scarcity is to look at self-soothing tactics: what is the exact nature of the void he is trying to plug, fill, and cover over? What is the perception that creates these to be pillars of truth? Some of these tactics/concepts to excavate are:

1. Power: What unmet need is it attempting to mask?
2. Freedom: What false beliefs are in operation?

• Ego Vs Self: what conceptual framework (because Midas is mind-led, frameworks provide navigable points of reference) affords true personal sovereignty?

Another way to achieve a breakthrough is to look at John Bowlby’s Attachment theory. Midas most often displays an Avoidant attachment style or a variation of it. But avoidance is a hallmark.

3. Midas in Love: The Contradictory Heart

The hard-core Midas (as with every archetypal energy, the energy is expressed within a spectrum) is a card-carrying emotional lone wolf even when he is in a relationship.

Others may experience him as merely self-serving or occasionally Midas may exhibit narcissistic personality traits.

Comfort-Zone of Eve and Helen and the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Often, he’s had many relationships, and has given commitment a go, but evolved into preferring transitory ones where there is minimal chance of being ‘pinned down’. He will also have an escape hatch plotted out either intentionally or not. This is quite likely for good reason because he has been deeply wounded or betrayed in love time and again. Perhaps he once gave of his open and generous heart with earnestness and great hope, only to find himself in unreciprocated dynamics again and again. Or he betrayed someone else but found ways to justify it and find themselves living the other person’s experience of them in new relationships.

But there is always a pattern to discover and he is deeply fearful of being taken advantage of. He may even have found after the fact that his partners (romantic, friendship or in business) were with him to gain a benefit and had not loved him for who he really was.

Powerfully identified with Eve or Helen archetypes, this is hardly surprising as Midas may ‘court’ potential partners by displaying worldly power; they seek to impress through wealth, status (social or intellectual circle of influence), networks (who they know, the pack they run with) and draw in people who value these qualities above the person with heart. In the natural world, think of the elaborate mating rituals of the Bird of Paradise or the nondescript Bowerbird that compensates for his lack of physical attractiveness to build a nest and decorating it with scavenged shiny objects. And so, the disappointment becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because of their life choices.

Thus, when love and belonging needs are met via Eve/Helen romantic relationships, the comfort zone becomes physical chemistry and status-confirming romantic partners.

Challenge of Mary

What’s really interesting is that when Midas encounters a romantic option who sees through the hardened carapace of power and influence, to genuine gold at the core of Midas, battle-wary Midas reacts with revulsion and distaste. This healthy ‘mirroring’ is so alien that it only reinforces distrust and cynicism because they point the door to an inner world the Midas has stubbornly and unconditionally refused to enter. It triggers a fear so vast and hidden; what they are afraid of is coming face to face with their own selves. This is the Pandora’s Box opened in the 3^rd Stage of Anima healing in Individuation: the archetype of Mary.

Love at a Distance: Limerence

Another common trait is the pull towards unavailable partners or voluntarily remaining in the imaginal realm of ‘potential’ (not taking the necessary steps to actualize it). Midas may wallow in the high romance of the ‘if only’, the narrative of star-crossed lovers, and swoon from a distance at the thought of the nurturance of a Mary. These are all very safe fantasies and there’s never a real threat of pain from these emotional romantic highs and dalliances (sometimes indulged in even when Midas is in a real-life connection).

Resistance to the Process of Inner Work

A misdirection a self-aware Midas faces is that although he’s engaged in inner work to ‘troubleshoot’ practical problems in their lives, for e.g., a difficulty in a relationship with a friend or family member, they are afraid to commit to themselves so fully, so deeply and consistently enough and really wade through inner ‘muck’ to get to the gold. He is in fact terrified of facing the guardian at the gate to the inner treasure. This guardian demands he faces some of the darkest shadows within, such as scarcity, treachery, jealousy, rage, gluttony, self-loathing etc; that has many gradations and layers to be exorcised.

After all, there are no guarantees in this journey, and because Midas needs to be always in control of outcomes to offset severe insecurities, he is quite likely to evade this call for true emotional sovereignty for years or their entire lives, unless there is a catalytic event.

Such events could be the very loss of the material foundation, continued betrayals, a death, or an encounter with a real-world Mary archetype. For e.g., a mystic with supernatural healing powers, or a love interest who does not see him as a viable relationship choice, because with masked Midas, any show of vulnerability/truth is off the table and there is no potential for depth or growth. The body, ever the betrayer of secrets could also reveal that Midas may suffer from phobias or have other somatic manifestations of repression.

Further Insight into the Double-Bind in Midas’ Love Life

As we have seen, Midas is often deeply wounded by love because of the choice of partners. The counter situation is that if he remains emotionally immature, he is unable to keep pace with and grow psychologically alongside their evolving partner and the relationship loses its durability. So, to sum up this double-bind:

• Fear of Engulfment: Midas prizes separateness. The disbelief of the numinous in love, and a misunderstanding of emotional and energetic sovereignty leads to freedom being interpreted very literally, for e.g., a committed relationship as inhibiting Midas’ freedom. He doesn’t grasp subtler distinctions or his self-imposed emotional/energetic bondages that prevent true sovereignty, therefore true inter-relations. The pre-requisite for such a relationship, which embodies the freedom to be one’s authentic self is two true sovereign individuals. Because predominantly Eve/Helen archetype-based partners do not have the capacity or the wish to evolve into the Mary/Sophia state and the relationship will likely disintegrate into co-dependency, infidelity, or one or both partners starting to exhibit narcissistic personality traits and engage in subtle power games.

• Bottleneck to Growth: With time if the feminine partner is capable of psychologically evolving and progresses beyond Eve, Helen to Mary (and possibly Sophia), Midas becomes the sticking point in the longevity of the relationship. If he remains emotionally immature there is no congruence and direction in the relationship that is meaningful to both parties. For e.g., in extreme expression, controlling the ‘asset’ he sees the partner to be, Midas prefers enmeshment and for her to remain in the objectified state of Helen. Another example is when Midas demands the nurturing aspects of Mary but is unwilling/unable to participate in creating a sustainable partnership by evolving in a dynamic way beyond personal ego needs.

Neither of these are fecund conditions for a romantic relationship to flourish into longevity.

If he pauses his constant accumulation, constant networking and workaholism long enough to listen, he may recognize a constant low-grade nagging of dissatisfaction and restlessness in his psyche for something greater than himself.

Self-Judgement

So, Midas may have severe self-judgment regarding what he considers to be the ‘failures’ into forays of love because often there are many. Often the people in his circles are also critical and dismissive, and needing their validation he suffers a double blow.

He may be self-critical about his achievements and earnings too, because nothing seems enough or sufficiently grand or impressive.

In extremely toxic dynamics he will project this ‘failure’ onto the partner and refuse to take responsibility for the demise or unsustainability of the relationship.

Midas fails to see that these relationships are the steppingstone-lessons to mastering his authentic inner freedom, that there will always be someone who’s achieved more, and earns more. Working harder and longer is no cure for these comparisons.

The Making of a True King

Abraham Lincoln once said, to believe in the things you can see and touch is no belief at all – but to believe in the unseen is a triumph and a blessing.

The door to Midas’s inner freedom and release from the bondage to materialism and external conditions is through Mary.

This bondage is what keeps Midas on a hamster wheel of keeping up with people he probably doesn’t even like or respect, living in places that make it impossible to feel and feed his inner spirit, engaging in work that’s more depleting, giving him no time to enjoy the fruits of his labour. He must keep many spinning plates in the air, and his life is an endless catch-up game and reaction, and not inspired action. So here are some of the keys Mary provides Midas if he is willing to get in touch with her energy within.

Key 1: As in the Grail Legend, the first key is to ask the question of himself: What Ails Thee? He must acknowledge and discover every nuance of his deep wounds of scarcity and abandonment, including personal, ancestral and cultural conditioning (go outside the box).

Key 2: Reframe Failures: He must stop re-hashing the past and his detours and shut that door firmly to prepare to pour into himself, not compensatory gratification or more hard work, but profound kindness. Note that this kind of looking back is not the same as Key 1 which has no judgement but pure curiosity and befriending one’s wounds.

Key 3: Compassion: He needs to forgive himself for his detours. He must give up the self-bludgeoning (and projecting if he’s the opposite sort). He must separate which wishes are pure and authentic to him and which are inherited or constructed by society. This heart-work is to recognize what is his true joy and sources of nourishment. This is a process of connecting to simplicity too.

Key 4: Forgiveness: When reconciling the avoidant attachment style, forgiving forever those who have wronged him is vital. There is a Buddhist proverb that says, if one doesn’t forgive, it’s like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die. This is an especially difficult step as once is not enough, it’s a process of releasing again and again until there is only clear sight left, but no ‘rousing’ energy such as resentment, bitterness, or anger.

Key 5: Transparency and Engaging Through Love and Equality, Not Power Differentials: Because Midas believes no one can love all of them if their vulnerabilities are laid bare, he must try to be transparent with a trusted person, baby steps, even if awkward at first. This is a new language; he must be patient with himself. Without true intimacy with self, there can be no deep intimacy with another.  If he wishes to experience a different kind of partner in his personal life (an end to the drama-trauma bonded relationships), such as Mary or Sophia archetypes, this is the only path to becoming harmonious with their energy.

Key 6: Re-Imagining the Environment: This emotional openness and flexibility must be allowed to trickle into all aspects of his physical life thus far built upon a false premise of abundance. This is the antithesis of contracting energy, in hoarding, in the insatiable feeding of the void within, and in the hunger for physical/financial security at the detriment of deep intimacy. He must question everything, inherited foundational beliefs of status and worldly power, his polarized perspectives, and his fear of change.

Key 7: Distill: Midas needs to evaluate and distil all his circles of friends, acquaintances, family, lovers or exes and figure out who is toxic, and who has his back even when no one is watching. Who is safe? What new boundaries need to be instilled? This is not a pleasant task as some would be resentful of the changes when their free-access passes are taken away.

Key 8: Expanding Perception Beyond the Individual Self: He must learn to connect to and trust the numinous, energies greater than him. This connection paradoxically is what will aid him to finally trust himself and not cling for dear life to things of the world.

By tapping into Mary-Anima, a new range of movement becomes available to Midas, to express the tender, inspired, spontaneous and transparent self and the chance to find true nourishment within and with others who are in harmony with this energy. Midas in all his power will be a true sovereign of himself and treat with care and honour, those within his domain. He does not need a castle to be a King. When he gives up his dependencies and false territories, he emanates majesty.